When Mason got off the bus today, I met him near the end of the driveway as I do everyday. As I have everyday for the past two and a half years. Only today was different. I knew it. And even Mason knew it.
He came running towards me, which he rarely does. Usually he takes his sweet time, stopping along the way to grab a stick or kick a rock. As he ran, I was waiting. He tried to side step me, but I didn't let him. Not today. I grabbed him and hugged him as hard as I could. I asked him about his day and told him I loved him. And told him again. And hugged him again (much to his chagrin, as the bus still hadn't quite pulled away yet, but I didn't care). I told him I loved him again. And then I told him I was so glad he was home. I guessed he noticed something was different. He finally stopped trying to escape my grasp, looked up at me and asked, "Why, mom?" I couldn't answer. I just tousled his hair and then watched as he ran to the house.
As the events at Sandy Hook School in Newtown, Connecticut, unfolded today . . . well, I don't know. The horror, the grief, the evil . . . children . . . innocent children . . . lives taken . . . lives lost. It begs the question WHY??? Why, Lord?
"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." ~John 16:33
In this world . . . this sin sick world . . . tragedy . . . pain . . . Today is hard. Today is real hard. I don't know anyone in Newtown, Connecticut. I've never personally experienced such . . . hurt, loss. But my heart grieves. My heart grieves for those children, those teachers, those first responders, those families. My heart grieves for the lost, those who are waking up everyday without the assurance of salvation and a Savior, without hope, without the cleansing blood of Christ to wash away the sin and the evil in their hearts.
I don't know why this had to happen the way it did. I do know that my Lord is sovereign. I do know that my Lord can be trusted at all times and in all things. I do know that there is an answer. There is only one answer. And that answer is JESUS CHRIST.
DO YOU KNOW HIM? If you don't, oh, how you need to!
"Jesus answered, 'I am THE way and THE truth and THE life. No one comes to the Father except through me.'" ~John 14:6
Today is one of those days when the ugliness and the evil and the DARKNESS of the sin in this world makes me want to beg Jesus to come right now . . . come, Lord Jesus, come. It's too much. It's too ugly. It's too evil. It's too DARK.
Earlier this week, I was sharing with my mother-in-law about an unexpected, challenging situation I'd found myself in. She told me I was here to be the LIGHT of Christ. The next day, I was reading another blog about being the light in this world, being SALT. Salt and light. I'd been chewing on that for three days now. And then today came.
"You (CHRISTIAN) are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men. You (CHRISTIAN) are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, LET YOUR LIGHT SHINE before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven." ~Matthew 5:13-16
If you know Him, if you are a Christian, if you made the decision to confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead . . . you are called to be salt and light in this world full of pitch black darkness. What are you doing, Christian? Are you living like it? Are you acting like it? Are you talking like it? Are you walking like it? Are you sharing like it? You have the answer. The answer is Jesus. And the world needs Him!
Yes. I am talking to myself, too.
I love my babies. Today I love them more than I ever have before! We took Christmas card pictures last weekend. You know how it goes. You take about a hundred pictures and hope for one that's pretty good. The other ninety nine go in the reject pile. This was one of those. But, for some reason, I love this picture! Hannah Kate was looking at her daddy. Ellie was looking at her big brother. And Mason was the only one looking at me, but he blinked. It just brings a smile to my face. I smother them with hugs and kisses everyday. Thank you, Lord, for giving me another day, especially when the parents of 20 precious babies in Newtown, Connecticut, don't get another day.
Tears are falling, hearts are breaking
How we need to hear from God
You've been promised, we've been waiting
Welcome Holy Child
Welcome Holy Child
Hope that you don't mind our manger
How I wish we would have known
But long-awaited Holy Stranger
Make Yourself at home
Please make Yourself at home
Bring Your peace into our violence
Bid our hungry souls be filled
Word now breaking Heaven's silence
Welcome to our world
Welcome to our world
Fragile finger sent to heal us
Tender brow prepared for thorn
Tiny heart whose blood will save us
Unto us is born
Unto us is born
So wrap our injured flesh around You
Breathe our air and walk our sod
Rob our sin and make us holy
Perfect Son of God
Perfect Son of God
Welcome to our world
"For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life." ~John 3:16