Wednesday, October 19, 2011

How 'bout them apples?

Recently I've called my husband an iphone snob. Yes. Iphone snob.

Company policy requires that he have an iphone so they provide and pay for it while he enjoys the benefits. A couple of months ago, he came home and told me that he was getting a new phone. His phone was a 3. So I asked if he was getting the NEW phone or just a new phone. He got just a new phone, the 4, less than a month before the NEW phone, the 4s, was released. I'm not really sure what the difference is between the 3 and the 4, but let's just say we have now experienced the depth and breadth of the smartphone experience at our house. He comes home nearly everyday with a new "app." I mean, there's even an app that calls deer in the woods, for goodness sakes. He was complaining about something the other day. I don't even remember what it was. But obviously there wasn't an "app for that." There sure is an app for everything else.

Even my 6-year-old is fascinated with the "ipod phone," as he calls it. Between his cousins' ipods and his daddy's iphone, he isn't quite sure what to think. Or what to call it.

As for me . . . I do not have an iphone. So I know what you're thinking. It's nothing more than a case of old fashioned jealousy. Perhaps. But let me just show you my phone. Yes. This is my phone.For me, it is really nothing more than an alarm clock (mine got lost in our last move, and I never bought a new one so I just use my phone). The battery is, more likely than not, usually dead. I encourage people to call me on my home phone and not my cell phone because I, more often than not, don't even answer my cell phone because I don't have it with me or can't hear it. And texting . . . well, don't even go there. Most of the time, I'll just respond with an email instead. Or, better yet, a phone call asking them not to text me anymore because it's just too labor intensive and time consuming to text back! I mean, I have only a numbers pad, and it's just ridiculous trying to type out a text on the thing. Besides, I was due for an "upgrade" two years ago. I've just never done it because I really do not have time for all of that.

One friend in particular thinks this whole thing . . . the saga of me and my cell . . . hilarious. So hilarious, in fact, that she called me last Friday night and asked me to go to the apple store with her so she could get the 4s. The kids were already bathed and ready for bed so I went to the apple store. We had to wait in line only 15 minutes or so before one of the apple team members came to assist us. So my sweet friend is in the process of getting her phone, getting everything transferred from her old phone to her new phone, picking out a case (which, by the way, I picked out for her . . . the cutest ever kate spade black with big white polka dots and hot pink around the edge) . . . and she's also trying to hook me up with a new phone, too.

And, of course, the gal helping us out was a freshman in college . . . and it was obvious that she just eats and breathes apples. And not the Granny Smiths either. I'm quite certain she's never met anyone like me. Well, maybe she has, but they're probably 20 or so years older than I am. I wish you could've seen the look on her face when I whipped out my phone (it's a miracle I even had it with me!) and showed it to her. I think she was . . . embarrassed! Really, I think she was. It was almost like . . . blasphemy . . . for me to be sporting such a phone in the apple store. This came after our conversation about the ipod, which went a little something like this:

Apple Girl: Are you interested in an ipod?
Me: I already have one.
Apple Girl: Which one do you have?

Me:I don't know.
Apple Girl: What you do mean you don't know?

Me: I don't know. I have no idea. My husband got it for me last Mother's Day . . . 2010 . . . and I took it out of the case to charge it and read the book, but I never did anything else with it. It doesn't even have any music on it.

Apple Girl's jaw drops to the floor. She is speechless. I have to somehow redeem myself. So I say, "But I did create an itunes account and download it to my computer. It just doesn't have any music or anything in it."

After I whipped out my flip phone though, all redeeming qualities were gone. And now that I'm certain I've lost any and all cool points, which weren't very many to begin with, I decided to just let it all hang out. Here's what happened shortly after I blew everyone away with my ancient cell phone.

The Apple Girl begins telling my friend all about Siri. And then it dawned on me . . . it was an "aha moment" for sure. Earlier that day, one of my friends' Facebook status read, "If anyone is able to activate their iphone 4s, could you please ask Siri to activate mine?" I had no clue what he was talking about. As a matter of fact, I thought his auto-correct wasn't working and that he really mean Suri instead of Siri . . . meaning that he was cracking some kind of joke about Suri (you know, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes' daughter) getting a new iphone, and maybe it was an article on . . . not that I read or anything. I know. This is sad. So sad.

So an hour later, we finally make our way out of the apple store. And my friend . . . well, she's giddy. Too giddy. Even the security guard at the front of the store makes a comment to me about my "rotary dial" phone. It's obvious I made quite the impression. I couldn't wait to get home though. The first thing I did was ask my husband if he'd met Siri yet. He looked at me like I'd lost my mind. So I told him who Siri is (for those of you not in the know . . . which I'm sure is probably little to no one . . . Siri is a new feature on the iphone 4s that lets you pretty much ask your phone to send a message, schedule a meeting, make a phone call, set reminders . . . and it'll actually do what you say and more. Apple Girl used my friends phone and said, "Siri, will you marry me?" Siri responded, "Marry you? I don't know you."), and he wasn't impressed. As a matter of fact, he thought I was crazier than even Apple Girl did.

So here's my plan. I'm going to wait until the iphone 5 comes out. Because I heard it's coming out really soon, even though Apple Girl couldn't confirm or deny the rumor. And then who's going to be jealous?!


The Applings said...

Go get an iphone NOW...I mean, run to the store (you won't regret it)...I am dying to start face timing you so I can see more of your house & kids!!

The Bayham Family said...

You'll be the first to know. I PROMISE! :)