Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Bed Bugs

Last night . . . or actually this morning . . . at 3:39am . . . I was awakened from deep slumber by a little girl yelling, "Mommmmyyyyyy," at the top of her lungs. By the time I stumbled upstairs, which was rather quickly given the urgency in her voice, the yelling had escalated to shrieking. I ran into her room to find her standing on the edge of her bed. I didn't turn the light on, but I could see the terror in her eyes by the glow of the moon. I wrapped her up in my arms and asked her what was wrong. She told me there were bugs in her bed.

Yes, I'll give you a moment. Because after I gave myself a moment to wrap my groggy mind around what she said, I was really glad it was dark so she couldn't see the big smile across my face. I also have to mention that it was in the midst of the shrieking that Mason woke up and started yelling, "Mom, you forgot to put drops in my ears!" I promise I am not making this stuff up!

Anyway, I held her for several minutes and then explained to her that it was time to go back to sleep. She asked if she could sleep with me, but I told her she needed to sleep in her bed. As I laid her back down, I noticed her Strawberry Shortcake and Plum Pudding figures. I grabbed them and put them by her pillow. I told her they were in her bed, thinking maybe she had rolled over on them and then thought they were "bugs." She carefully inspected them to be sure I was telling the truth and put her head on the pillow.

When I crawled back into my own bed, I started wondering if perhaps there REALLY were bugs in her bed! I really didn't sleep the rest of the night. Because I don't do bugs! I was glad today was Tuesday because Tuesdays are the days that I wash sheets and blankets every week. So after breakfast I took the sheets off the beds and carefully inspected each one. No bugs. I didn't mention anything to Hannah Kate because I wasn't sure if maybe she had a bad dream or perhaps didn't even remember anything about the night before.

After lunch I began the task of putting the sheets back on the bed. Hannah Kate was playing with her doll house while I was making her bed. I heard her say something about "bugs in her bed." The conversation then went a little something like this:

Me: Really, Hannah Kate?
Hannah Kate: Yup.
Me: Well how do you know you had bugs in your bed?
Hannah Kate: I saw them.
Me: You did? What did they look like?
Hannah Kate: One was purple and one was blue.
Me: Do you remember that you slept with Strawberry Shortcake and Plum Pudding last night? Plum Pudding is purple. Maybe that's what you saw?
Hannah Kate: I told you I have bugs in my bed.
Me: Well. What were they doing?
Hannah Kate: They were playing in my bed.

At this point, I didn't say anything, and I was really glad my back was to her because it was all I could do to keep from laughing. And that's when . . .

Hannah Kate (matter-of-fact): Those bugs like my bed because my bed is fun.

At this point, there was nothing else I could do. I was laughing uncontrollably, so much so that I was rolling around on the floor in one of those laughs that only happens every once in awhile. When I finally got control of myself, I took a peek at Hannah Kate. Let's just say she didn't find herself as amusing as I did! I'm quite sure she was mad at me. I desperately wanted to keep the conversation going . . .

Me: Did the bugs talk to you?
Hannah Kate (absolutely outdone and exasperated): Well no, Mama. They are BUGS. Bugs don't talk.
Me (as if it's completely logical for bugs to be having a picnic in Hannah Kate's bed but illogical to think they would be talking): Oh.

So tonight when I tucked her in bed, I DID NOT say, "Sleep tight. Don't let the bed bugs bite!"

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