This was our very first morning (we arrived around 11:00 the night before) on the beach, our very first picture. We were out early. There was hardly anyone there except us. And Mason couldn't wait to crash the waves. He turned around, looked at me and threw his hands up in the air. That first day we were on the beach all day before driving around the city, taking in the sights and filling our tummies at the Back Porch restaurant. My favorite part of that day was playing with Mason in the ocean water . . . helping him maneuver his boogie board . . . chasing little fishies that were swimming around . . . I will always remember this day with Mason.This trip for me meant a lot of things in a lot of ways. But perhaps most important was being a mommy to my first born, my boy, my Mason. He just celebrated his 5th birthday. And you know what that means. Kindergarten. Let's just say this mommy is having a HARD TIME letting go! I know, I know . . . I'm not "losing" him. He isn't moving out and going to college or getting married! But he's GOING TO KINDERGARTEN!
As long as we were at the beach, I didn't have to think about IT. IT was still two weeks away. IT even seemed like IT wasn't really going to happen. At the same time, I felt a burning in my heart to savor each moment, each picture, each word, each meal . . . every single second of every single day . . . to the fullest extent possible. I was not ready to let go. I was not ready to release him to someone else's instruction for six hours a day five days a week. I still am not ready! I can hardly stand the thought of not knowing exactly where he is and what he is doing and what he is saying and who he is talking to. I mean, that's where I've been the past five years of my life . . . the entirety of his life!
I now know beyond a shadow of a doubt that one of the best decisions I've ever made in my life has been to be a stay-at-home mom. Yes, it's been a tremendous sacrifice in so many ways. It's been difficult. There have been days that I wanted to send him off to school until he's 18 years old! But these days . . . these past five years . . . are priceless! In the blink of an eye, in an instant . . . it's over. Five years. That's it. I am so thankful for these five years and the memories we've made and the things we've learned and the places we've been. There may be many more years to come . . . but none like these first five years. I will always treasure them close to my heart. I will always wish I did better, too.
I've had to hold my big girl panties up with suspenders ever since we got home! I could feel it as soon as we pulled out of the parking lot of our hotel to return home . . . you know, that sinking feeling in your gut when you know something's coming that you really wish would just GO AWAY. But you also know it's not. Mason's enthusiasm for school has seemed to wane a big during the course of the past month. When he asked the question, "Can I go to school now?" and we finally answered, "Yes!," he seemed to change his mind about the whole deal. Well, that's fine with me! But really though . . . he knows me inside and out, and I can not even give him an inkling of what I'm feeling on the inside because then he'll know just how really yucky I feel, and I don't want him to feel yucky about it, too.
So we went to orientation last Tuesday. Fake smile, fake excitement, fake enthusiasm . . . fake fake fake is exactly what I was! As we headed out the door and down the sidewalk to the parking lot, Mason cut his eyes at me and said, "I don't like this place." My response? "Why, Mason, this is such a lovely school! And your teacher is lovely, and you're going to sit at those cute little tables with your new little friends, and you can put your brand new Batman backpack in your sweet little cubbie. Wow! This is a great place!" Lies, I tell you. Nothing but a pack of lies! Well, his teacher really is a cute little thing . . . she's younger than me, I'm most certain . . . not that that's a bad thing . . . I'm just sayin' . . . and everything is brand new and freshly painted. But it's a lie in that it isn't how I'm feeling on the inside. I want more time! Can I at least have just one more year? As of right now, I have only ONE MORE DAY . . . the first day of school is Wednesday . . . day after tomorrow . . .
I am certain I will be a complete and utter wreck on Wednesday, quite possibly nothing but a puddle! Somehow I have to get him up, feed him breakfast, dress him in his purple shirt and black shorts (yes, I KNOW . . . whoever chose black for school uniforms . . . I mean, really, you know how much I LOVE black . . . but not for school uniforms!), brush his teeth, comb his hair, drive him to the Iberville Math, Science and Arts Academy (some folks call it the Academy and some folks call it MSA . . . I'll be calling it MSA because the Academy just sounds a bit too stuffy for me!) and escort him to his classroom . . . without losing it! There are many hard moments in parenting (late nights, sleepless nights, cries that seemingly can't be soothed, discipline, correction, potty training, correction, discipline, picky eaters, discipline, correction, ear infections, correction, discipline, . . . I could go on forever), but this - for me - will be the hardest!
Well. I digress. This was supposed to be a post about our fantabulous vacation to the BEACH! So. Our first day. We've established how much Mason and I are lovin' it. But let's just say that Hannah Kate isn't feeling it yet. She wasn't certain about the first feel of the sand between her toes (she was only 9 months old the last time we went to the beach), and I think the sound of the crashing waves actually scared her. She really didn't want the sand anywhere on her body, but it didn't take her long to figure out that she'd be feeling sand until at least 2-3 days back at home. She hung in there and finally let me carry her into the ocean. She also had a death grip around my neck. And that was the first day.
The second day was spent at Big Kahuna's water park. All day! Mason later said that was his favorite part about the trip. Hannah Kate loved it, too. Even though she was too short for the water slides, she had a blast in the kiddie pools and kiddie slides and fountains and such. I had the most fun racing down the slides with my Mason. When we returned to the condo later that afternoon, we went back out to the beach. Again, it was the same as before. Mason was digging it, but the only thing Hannah Kate would do was dig in the sand.
The third day was spent on the beach and on a dolphin cruise. When we went back out to the beach that evening, we spied another cute little blonde headed girl about the size of Hannah Kate and her family. Only this little blonde was actually playing in the ocean and having a great time! I guess Hannah Kate got a little jealous. Or maybe she finally realized it wasn't so bad after all. I can now say with all confidence that I'm pretty sure Hannah Kate is going to be a beach girl, too, just like her Mama! She chased the waves and jumped in and ran back . . . and then she even grabbed her Daddy's hand and let him lead her through the waves to deeper waters. This is one of my favorite beach pictures of Hannah Kate. Even ballerinas go to the beach!
I took . . . a bazillion pictures . . . but here are a few of my favorites in the slideshow below. In the meantime, I have only ONE MORE DAY . . .