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Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Blink

Teach me to number my days
And count every moment before it slips away
Taking all the colors before they fade to gray
I don't want to miss even just a second more of this . . .
It happens in a blink;
It happens in a flash;
It happens in the time it takes to look back.
I try to hold on tight,
but there's no stopping time.
What is it I've done with my life?
It happens in a blink . . .

~BLINK by Revive~

I've heard this song umpteen million times the past few months, but it wasn't until this past Wednesday that I really HEARD the words . . . it was like I was listening to the song for the very first time. And now I can't get it out of my head. Yes, I know this song is all about making the most and the best of your life, namely living for Christ. But during this season in my life, am I making the most and the best of being a Mommy? 'Cause they grow up so fast . . .

I am pregnant. BLINK. Mason is born. BLINK. We are celebrating Mason's 1st Christmas. BLINK. Mason is one! BLINK. After living in Louisiana for almost 7 years, we move to Mississippi. BLINK. I am pregnant. BLINK. Hannah Kate is born. BLINK. Hannah Kate is one! BLINK. We are moving back to Louisiana. BLINK. We still don't have to worry about kindergarten and where Mason is going to go to school until "next year." BLINK. "Next year" is here, and Mason is in kindergarten.

This past Monday was Mason's first "real" day at kindergarten . . . meaning he got on the bus at 7:00am, went to school and got off the bus at 2:50pm. So it was rainy on Monday morning. We watched for the bus to pass and then loaded up in the Tahoe to wait at the end of the driveway.We got out under the umbrella, and I was having a conversation with the bus driver. After all, it was the first time I'd ever even met the man so I made sure he knew who I was, who Mason was, where Mason went to school (even though that's the only school he drops off at!), who Mason's teacher is, etc etc etc. At the end of that conversation, which really wasn't as long as it seems like it was, I realize that Mason is NO WHERE TO BE FOUND. He's already on the bus! No hug. No kiss. No goodbye. No wave. Nothing. Now, granted, I'd already given him a hundred hugs and kisses and instructions and pats on the back and so on and so forth. But one more wouldn't have been so bad! BLINK. He's gone.

That was the longest day of my life! By 10:00am, the kitchen was spotless, three loads of laundry were done, folded and put away, the floors were swept, the bathrooms were cleaned and supper was underway. I spent all day counting down the hours and finally minutes until Mason would get off that school bus. I couldn't wait to hear all about his day and what he did and who he met and what he learned. I mean, Mason talks all the time . . . non-stop, I tell you! Often times I ask him to stop talking for five minutes to play the quiet game. He always looses at that one. But I was ready for it. The house had been too quiet, even with Hannah Kate and Connor, and I was lonely! Even with Hannah Kate and Connor. At this point, I have no idea what he did the first day at school. I only know that his favorite part about school was nap time! Seriously?!? Are you KIDDING ME?!? This child detests nap time at home! He doesn't even take naps anymore! And his favorite thing about the first day of school is NAP TIME?!? Well, maybe that's because his super cool Mommy covered his kindermat with camouflage fabric and monogrammed his name on the bottom in hunter's orange . . . so he's probably the coolest kid at nap time! Or perhaps the dorkiest.And . . . not only that . . . but I made chocolate chip cookies especially for Mason so he could have a snack when he got home . . . and also so the house would smell delicious. And do you know he didn't want a chocolate chip cookie?!? He told me he'd rather his candy that his teacher gave him! I mean, it's only the first day, and Ms. Alexander is already showing me up!

Oh yeah, and that sweet lil note I put in his lunchbox . . . well, surprise surprise . . . he didn't say anything about that either! Today he finally asked why I kept putting "that stuff" in his lunchbox!We asked him all kinds of questions all kinds of ways in an attempt to figure out just what his first day of school consisted of. And we got absolutely nothing! Finally I asked him if he missed me. He tells me every Sunday after church that he missed me while he was in Sunday School. He told me every morning after VBS that he missed me while he was in his class. So surely he missed me . . . right?!? WRONG. He said, "Nah," and then proceeded to head upstairs to play with his toys, at which point Seth says, "Well your Mama missed you. All she did all day was cry!" Mason didn't even turn around! BLINK. The first day of school is over.

We woke up Tuesday morning to a break in the rain. It didn't last long, but it was long enough that we were able to walk to the end of the driveway to wait on the bus. Since it was raining the day before, I wasn't able to get a picture of Mason on the school bus since I was trying to maneuver the umbrella and scope out the bus driver. So that was my mission on Tuesday morning. Mr. Louis, the bus driver, had to tell Mason to stop and turn around for a picture because the child was so hot-to-trot to get to his seat and go to school!And the rest of the day I spent counting the hours and minutes until 2:50. It's raining so Hannah Kate, Connor and I load up into the Tahoe to wait on Mason at the end of the driveway. He hops in the Tahoe and wants to know "what Hannah did today." Excuse me . . . Hannah? Ummm, what about MOMMY? When we get inside, Mason asks me if he has homework. He's been dying for homework. Yeah, we'll see how he feels about that when 5th grade comes around. Anyway, I look in his folder and let him know that he doesn't have homework. He's disappointed. He'd already told me he wouldn't be able to help Hannah Kate pick up anymore because he'd have to do his homework! He kicks off his shoes, turns around and heads upstairs. BLINK. The second day of school is over, and I still don't know what he did. But he did say that his favorite part of the day was nap time!

Today was more of the same. It was raining this morning so we had to take the Tahoe again to wait for the bus. But it wasn't raining this afternoon so Hannah Kate and I waited on Mason at the end of the driveway. I had this beautiful image in my head of him running off the school bus and straight into my arms . . . I'd swing him up in the air and give him a kiss . . . he'd grab my hand, and we'd walk back to the house. Well, he came running all right. He ran right past his sister and me! And he didn't stop til he got to the house! Hannah Kate and I were still standing at the end of the driveway, and Mason is already to the house! He didn't even stop to wave or say, "Hi!" It was such a pitiful sight. Really, it was. So Hannah Kate took my hand, and we walked back together. I mean, seriously, WHAT IS THIS? He's five years old . . . he's in kindergarten . . . so he doesn't need Mommy anymore?!? BLINK. It's over. He's grown.

Tonight at supper, I rather dejectedly told Seth was happened when Mason got off the bus. Mason spoke up rather nonchalantly and said, "Ha ha. Beat you, Mom." So I've been thinking. His reaction and response this week hasn't exactly been what I anticipated. Would I rather him crying . . . not wanting to get on the bus . . . not wanting to go to school? I guess not. But darn it, I just want him to miss me! Just a little! BLINK. Only this time I'm blinking back tears.



2 comments:

Booksh Bunch said...

at the kids old school we had to have our mats covered like that so Braden went with his and his mat was the only one covered! Glad I didn't send his monogrammed pillow and all! Fun times! We love those boys:-)

Raimie said...

and BLINK.... they no longer need you at all.. not even to make their lunch. ENJOY THESE DAYS!!