19.3.18

That Gray Area (and my parents' surprise 40th birthday party)

I was young once.  And in my younger years, I thought I knew it all.  I had jokes, too.

When my parents turned forty years old, I threw them a surprise birthday party.  Their birthdays are a month apart so it was easy.  And the card I gave them?  All I can do now is shake my head.  And be thankful I'm still alive.

It was 1992.  I was fourteen years young at the time, and I thought turning forty was a BIG DEAL.  I don't know why.  It seemed so . . . old.  I saved my allowance for several months so I could host this party for my parents, and I enjoyed every single second of planning it.  I had a lot of help from Aunt Harriette and Cindy, too.  Of course, Cindy took care of the flowers, balloons and the cake.  Aunt Harriette took me shopping for the invitations, stamps, decorations, paper goods and snacks.  Mixed nuts, anyone?!

Aunt Harriette also had to come to my rescue at the last minute.  The party was in the fellowship hall at our church.  I don't remember exactly the excuse I made up to get my parents there, but I think it had something to do with the church softball team, and it didn't work.  So the day of the party I was pretty nervous.  I eventually ran across the street to Aunt Harriette's house and told her I didn't know what to do and that I was afraid my parents were going to miss their own party.  She told me not to worry because she would take care of it.  I'm not sure what exactly she did, but I'm pretty sure it was something along the lines of calling Mama and telling her to get herself ready to go to church and don't ask questions.

I don't even remember who took these pictures (and, obviously, the quality is poor because in ye olden days there were no smart phones or digital cameras so these were from film, and I just took pictures of them with my phone) for me because I walked in behind my parents. But this was their reaction when they walked in the door.  I'm not convinced that my Mama was truly surprised, but I'm pretty sure my Daddy was.

I think my Daddy had a good time!  When I showed these pictures to the kids, Mason said, "That's Pop?!  He had hair."

Again, in ye olden days, we weren't concerned about getting that perfect social media worthy shot.  So I don't even have a picture of my family together, and this is the only picture I have of my Mama and me at the party.  Mason asked what I was pointing at, and I'm pretty sure I was making sure she saw someone.

Also, can we just take a moment for the shirt?  I took Hannah Kate shopping last weekend for new summer clothes.  A lot of the shirts were sequined.  Of course, they caught her eye.  I quickly explained to her that I MADE my own sequined shirts back in the day.  Again, ye olden days.  Case in point.  I used tweezers to carefully place every single sequin on this shirt.  I don't remember how long it took, but it took a long time.  Needless to say, I didn't buy any of the sequined shirts for Hannah Kate because I'm kind of over high maintenance laundry right now.  Who wants a shirt with half the sequins missing?  So I can only imagine what my Mama thought about laundering this one!  I really should apologize.  When I showed off this sequined shirt to Hannah Kate, she was not necessarily impressed.  At all.

There are so many things I love about this picture.  That's my Granddaddy, Mama's daddy, shaking my Daddy's hand.  I so wish I could've had more time with him, especially as an adult.  He and my Daddy are two of the best men I've ever known.  And that's my Uncle Charles on the far left.  He's standing up in this picture.  I had to catch my breath when I first saw it.  A farming accident in 1997 left him a quadriplegic and in a wheelchair the rest of his life so that's mostly how I remember him now.

And that's my Pa, Daddy's daddy, in this next picture.  Daddy's work buddy, Alfred, and his wife are sitting down.  That's another funny story.  I invited our family, church friends and Alfred.  I didn't particularly know him, but I'd met him a time or two at the company picnic, and Daddy talked about him all the time.  So I wanted to invite him.  But I didn't have his address.  So I whipped out the phone book, looked him up and there he was, address and all.  You know, I don't know that my children have ever even seen a phone book or know what one is.  They certainly wouldn't know how to use it!  When I sent the invitations, I did request an RSVP, but I made clear it was a surprise and specified only times that I knew Mama wouldn't be home from work yet for people to call.  This was also before caller ID.  Yep, the good ole ye olden days!  Anyway, I still remember answering the phone one afternoon right after school.  It was Mrs. Arnita letting me know that she and Alfred appreciated the invitation and would be at the party.  I was so excited to know that at least two people would be there!  Because what if no one came?!

When Mason saw this picture, he said, "Now I know who that is!"  And I told him that MeMama never changed a bit!  She looked the same from the day I was born until the day she was nearly 100 years old!

I wish I could remember who exactly did this, but I can't.  Someone gave Mama and Daddy wicker rocking chairs painted black.  I can't even!  And I DO NOT recommend this as a gift idea for anybody at any point!

Mama still has all of the pictures and cards and such saved in a photo album we put together after the party.

And now, to my older and wiser self, forty years old seems . . . still monumental . . . and, well, just old.  Why is that?  

It seems bigger than sixteen.  And I was all about getting my license.  Sort of.  I didn't have a car so there's that.  

And even bigger than eighteen.  Isn't that officially the age one becomes an adult (on paper, at least)?  I can still remember the very first presidential election I voted in and who I voted for.  

My twenty-first birthday really didn't mean a whole lot to me, other than the fact I was over twenty, but my bestie did get a bunch of us together to go roller skating!  

So why is it that forty is the one I've always had circled on the calendar as THE BIG ONE?  I don't even know!  I mean, I think I've been dreading it since I was 35!   

Am I crazy?  

Yes, I am sure of it!  

Seth and I were talking about it the other day, and he's all, "Forty is not old!  I feel younger today than I ever have!  I have more energy today than I used to at twenty."  Mmmm hmmm, as he's limping across the parking lot ten minutes later because his back hurts.  (In his defense, he'd been using a probing rod at work to locate a pipe.)  I also can't agree with him here.  I do not feel younger than ever nor do I have more energy (I think I have three really good reasons . . . )!  Then he says that the only thing that makes you think you're old is looking back.  So I asked him if I still look the same today as I did when we were married.  And, of course, he said YES.  And I rolled my eyes.

My FIL was encouraging.  He said, "If you think 40 is old, just wait till 50.  Better yet, 55!  Forty is nothing."  Sounds like I have a lot to look forward to!

Only five days separate my birthday from my best-friend-growing-up's birthday.  She celebrates first.  And I like what she said . . . I'd rather be young forties than old thirties!

Or, better yet, maybe forty is like twenty the second time around!

I'm not sure yet.  I'll let you know in a day or so.

I supposed it's just a gray area right now (although when I got my hair cut last week, I asked my girl to let me know if she found any gray hairs, and she promised me she didn't)!