For the Journey


Any day spent with you is my favorite day. So today is my new favorite day. ~A.A. Milne

"You crown the year with Your goodness, and Your paths drip with abundance." ~Psalm 65:11
If you're a mom, you've heard it.

The days are long, but the years are short.

You've heard it on the really hard day when all you really want is a listening ear or validation even . . . that the daily grind of raising children, complete with 4-day hair, leaky sippy cups and so tired from night after night of interrupted, or sometimes even no, sleep is important kingdom work.

You've talked about it on the day that you look at your tween-aged children when it seems like only yesterday they weren't even in kindergarten.

And then social media has that sneaky way of reminding you . . . this popped up last week, one of my all-time favorite pictures of Mason and Hannah Kate.
Mason was four and a half years old.  Hannah Kate had just turned two.  We were building our house.  On this particular day, I brought them over to help pick up wood scraps and nails and then I gave them a sucker while they were resting on the back porch.  Mason would be starting kindergarten that coming fall.  That was something we'd not even yet thought about.  At the time this was taken, I had no idea where he would be going to school.  I wasn't ready for him to go anyway so it was easy not to think about it.  Even though we were in the midst of building the house, which was a pretty significant project, the days were so simple.  Although I could so easily right now look back on those days as easy, there were some hard days.  But it was all just so simple.  Hands down, that was my favorite age with Mason and Hannah Kate.

And then the very next day this gem popped up on social media.
Hannah Kate had just turned five years old.  Ellie was six months old.  Mason was in second grade and at school all day so I spent all of my time with these beauties.  Hannah Kate has always been the sweetest big sister and the sweetest little helper.  I knew Ellie was likely my last baby.  And because of how "quickly" the other two were growing up, I knew to soak up every single moment.  And that's what I did.  But it's almost like I was hoping she would just be a baby forever.  Of course, I knew she wouldn't be, but I was still hoping.  Crazy, I know.  It's just so hard to believe my "forever baby" is five years old now.

Those two pictures are a very vivid reminder that the years, indeed, are short.  It doesn't seem quite possible that we built the house eight years ago.  I feel like I just blinked, and Ellie is in kindergarten.  And I wonder . . . have I done enough?  Have I enjoyed enough?  Have I taught enough?  Have I spent enough time?  Am I enough?  

Nope.

No.

But you know what?  As much as I want to say a resounding YES, I can not, and I never will.  I'm learning to be okay with that.  Because all of the voids and cracks and "not enoughs" are all the wonderful places for Jesus to fill.  And you know what?  He is MORE THAN ENOUGH.  

MORE THAN.  

I have to keep reminding myself that every. day.  Because this has been a L O N G week.  Not necessarily a bad week.  But a very long week.  Wednesday was like the day that was never going to end.  And it wasn't because there wasn't anything to do.  From the time my feet hit the floor at 5:00AM until I put the kids in bed around 8:30PM I did not stop.  It was a very full day.  And a very LONG day.  

The days are long.

The days are long.

When is this day ever going to end because I'm just so over it?

And then I'm reminded of those two pictures.

Just breathe.  Take it all in.  One step at a time.  One foot in front of the other.  Because Jesus is enough.  He's most than enough.  He's all that matters.  The years are short.  They'll be married before I know it (or not).  The years are short.

There's something about every day putting the date on the calendar.  Not just turning the page to the new month of January where the dates are already there.  But actually taping those dates down day after day after day.  And then, all of a sudden, there are no dates left.  They are done.
And it's time for a new month.  Time to start over.  So the dates go up day by day by day.  And those long days turn into short months, those short months into even shorter years.
It doesn't feel that way right now.  I was seriously thinking earlier today that 7th grade is the year from down under.  And I'm not talking Australia.  We've accomplished so much.  I mean, we just finished The Odyssey so now we can say we've read The Odyssey AND The Iliad.  Surely, that should be enough, and we should be ready to move on.  But not yet.  I'm certain we have some more long days ahead of us.  But.  Jesus is enough.

His grace is enough.

His strength is enough.

His love is enough.

HE is enough.

Last Thursday night was winter Celebratio, time we take twice a year to honor and thank our Lord for the gift of learning through His Word, poetry, literature and song.  They always look forward to this night.  We dress up, eat a nice supper out and then listen to our children recite literature, poetry and Scripture. 
There are four different passages of Scripture printed on the cover of my original mom binder.  They are the ones that God very specifically gave me when we finally figured out Mason is dyslexic.  One of those in particular I speak every. day.  And it's funny.  Because, at the time, I questioned whether or not it was supposed to go on my binder.  God was like, "Really?"  I'm so serious.

Then she called the name of the LORD who spoke to her, You-Are-the-God-Who-Sees; for she said, "Have I also here seen Him who sees me?"  ~Genesis 16:13

I love so many things about this verse . . . These are the words of Hagar.  She was Sarai's maidservant.  And since Sarai had not yet been able to conceive, she decided that it would be okay for her husband to father a baby with Hagar.   As you can imagine, that didn't turn out so well.  Hagar eventually ran away, but she had nowhere to go.  She eventually sat down by a spring of water in the wilderness, and that's when the Angel of the LORD spoke to her.  God revealed Himself to her as THE GOD WHO SEES.  God revealed Himself to AN EXPECTANT MAMA as THE GOD WHO SEES.  And Hagar was able to know Him as THE GOD WHO SEES.  That tired, worn out, hurting, expectant Mama was met right where she was at . . . GOD SAW HER.

And on the longest days, God sees me.  He sees it ALL.  He sees all the sacrifice, all the love, all the little things day in and day out that nobody else sees or acknowledges . . . all. the. things. you do because you LOVE them so fiercely . . . even on the worst days when you just feel like you haven't done anything right, and you feel like you just messed the whole thing up (and you're just praying you don't mess THEM up) . . . GOD. SEES.  Even when it seems like nobody else does (and most days it probably seems as such!), GOD SEES.

The days are long.

But they are worth it.

And God sees.