This morning one of my sweet friends reminded me I hadn't talked about Ellie-isms in quite awhile and asked what she's been up to.
Oh, you know. The usual.
Let's see . . . would you like me to tell you about the mobile she made for her room and taped to the ceiling with PACKING TAPE? (Because the other tape is currently hidden because she doesn't know how to use it correctly). Or would you like me to tell you about the letters ELLIE'S ROOM that she printed, cut and then GLUED to her DOOR? And that was just one afternoon in the life of Ellie.
My friend's first response was, "How did she manage to get up high enough to reach the ceiling?"
Well, I haven't even thought about that aspect of it because I can't get past the fact that my NINE YEAR OLD is still TAPING and GLUEING stuff to the walls, doors and furniture . . . you know, everywhere except where you should be taping and glueing stuff. Yeah, I still don't have a positive attitude about this.
Life with Ellie and the teenagers . . . well . . . it's interesting. So for those of you looking for Ellie-isms, here you go with a little bit of teenager-isms sprinkled in.
A few weeks ago we were on our way to church one Wednesday night. I was asking each of them about their day, and they were giving me the usual run down.
Mason: Oh, and I talked to TJ today, too.
Me: How's he doing? What'd y'all talk about?
Mason: I don't know. But then he had to go because he had to go to work. So I told him to please be careful and not drive so fast. He asked me why, and I told him I didn't want anything to happen to him. He just needs to be careful.
Ellie: Mason, why do you want to EXPOSE TJ like that?! You stop talking about TJ like that right now! We love TJ, and you need to stop that.
(And then there was dead silence while the teenagers and I are comprehending the fact that the nine year old has just used the word "expose" in a sentence . . .)
Ellie: What?!? Don't y'all know what EXPOSE means?! It means you're going to get TJ in trouble, and you better stop.
Okay then.
This is also the same nine year old who sneezed really hard and then said, "Well, that was aggressive."
Not too long ago I noticed some shavings of something on the floor in the playroom when I went upstairs at bedtime. I was trying to figure out what it was, and then I saw a pocket knife on the TV console with the blade covered in the same shavings. The conversation went like this . . .
Me: Mason, what is this on your knife?
Mason: I don't know. Ask Ellie.
Me: Ellie, what is this on the knife?
Ellie: I don't know.
Me: Hannah Kate, did you do this?
Hannah Kate: No.
Me: Ellie, it wasn't Mason, and it wasn't Hannah Kate. We all know it was you. So what did you do?
Ellie: I put soap in Hannah Kate's water bottle.
Me: Why did you put soap in Hannah Kate's water bottle?
Ellie: Well, she put the whole bar in my water bottle, but it wouldn't fit in hers. So I had to cut it to get it to fit.
Me: Hannah Kate! Why did you put a bar of soap in Ellie's water bottle?!
Hannah Kate: Because Mason stuck it on the wall in the bathroom.
Me: Wait . . . what?! What does Mason sticking a bar of soap on the wall in the bathroom have to do with you putting it in Ellie's water bottle?! Mason, why are you sticking a bar of soap on the wall in the bathroom?!
Mason: I was bored.
Hannah Kate: Yeah, and it was so gross.
Mason: And then she put it on my mirror!
Hannah Kate: Well, then Mason put it on MY mirror.
Mason: And then she put it on my fan!
Ellie: Yeah, and when he turned the fan on the soap fell off. That was my idea! (She is so proud of herself at this point).
Hannah Kate: So then he put it on the wall in my room!
Mason: Well, then you put it in my SHOE! And, Mom, I put it in her pillowcase, but she didn't even notice!
Ellie: Yeah, we left it in there for like three days, and I finally got it out because Hannah Kate never noticed.
Mason: So I put it on Ellie's wall.
Ellie: And then I put it on Mason's acne cream.
Mason: And then I put it in Hannah Kate's room.
Ellie: And then Hannah Kate put it in my WATER BOTTLE! So that's why I put it in hers.
Me: Well, I do not understand why I have to tell you not to play with knives and not to do anything with soap except bathe with it, but I give up. All of y'all know better. But I'm just glad y'all love each other and are having fun together. Just don't do this again!
Y'all. I can't even. I mean, what in the world do I do with this?!