Thursday, May 11, 2017

Ellie-isms: pit hair, popcorn and cups (but not the drinking kind)

So maybe it's the end of what's been a really long week, and even though tomorrow is FriYAH, you just can't imagine getting up in the morning to do it all over again before the weekend.

Or maybe you just lost your sixth ballgame in a row.

Or maybe the seven graduation gifts you purchased last week accidentally got taken out and thrown in the garbage can.


Not that I would know anything about any of that.

But just in case, here are a few Ellie-isms for you . . . seriously, everybody needs an Ellie in their lives.  I sure hope you have one.  But, if not, you're more than welcome to enjoy mine!
Putting this in context . . . Mason and the boys down the street get together in our front yard, put the bases out and play baseball or kickball or even some game they made up where they hit the soccer ball with the bat.  Hannah Kate is out there in the middle of it all playing just as hard as they are.  Ellie doesn't much care for it because that means Hannah Kate isn't playing with her.  She has no interest in being out there, and she doesn't want Hannah Kate out there either.

A couple of weeks ago after I picked Mason up at Sequitur, this is the conversation from the middle row.  Keep in mind that we have three rows of seating in the Tahoe, but all three kids insist on sitting on the middle row together.  I was driving so I didn't see how she was sitting, but I guess Hannah Kate had her arms up.

Mason:  Uuuggghhhh!  Hannah Kate!!!!!  You have a hair growing out of your arm pit!

Ellie:  Yep.  That's what happens.  You get pit hair when you play baseball.  And Hannah Kate's been out there playing all that baseball.

Last week one morning at breakfast:

Ellie:  I wish we could live in a hotel.

Me:  Why do you want to live in a hotel?

Ellie:  Because they have popcorn.

Me:  What?!

Ellie:  You know, at that hotel at Aunt April's, they had popcorn.  Even though you wouldn't let us get any of it! 

Me:  They didn't have popcorn at the hotel.  All we did was sleep there.

Ellie:  Yes, they did!  It was right there when we walked in the door.

I realized she was referring to the hotel we stayed in last fall, and the little convenience store in the lobby that sold various items.  Note to self:  next time, get the popcorn.
Now, this last one isn't exactly an Ellie-ism.  But it's just too good not to share.

A little background . . . before baseball season began, the coach called me to make sure Mason had sliding shorts.  Sure.  He has athletic shorts and pants.  Same thing, right?  I assured him all was good.  So the next day, the coach sent a text to all of the parents again talking about sliding shorts.  And then he said that all of the players were required to wear a cup.

What?  So after thinking about this for awhile, I realized the "sliding shorts" must have something to do with the cup.  I had a brother growing up, and he played sports, but I definitely wasn't in "the know" about these things.  And I'm still not in "the know" about these things.  I mean, I can put my girls in make-up and buns, but I'm really not good with this boy stuff.

So later in the day, I was driving home after picking up one of the kids at Sequitur.  All three kids were with me, of course.  Seth called to tell me something.  So during this conversation, I was discreetly trying to tell Seth that he needed to step up the game in the boy department because Coach sent a message saying that Mason needed sliding shorts and "the other."  And I didn't even use the word "cup," and I was talking as low as I could.  Because, if you know me, you know why.  So here's what happened behind me.

Mason:  Yeah, Mom, I need a cup, too!

I mean, and he was practically yelling I NEED A CUP!

Hannah Kate (dying laughing):  A cup?!?

Mason:  Yeah, I have to wear a cup this year.

I mean, and I can't even stop the conversation, and Seth is still on the phone, and I'm about to run off the road.

Hannah Kate (laughing so hard she can't help herself):  Wear a cup?!?  WEAR A CUP?!?  I mean, what are you going to do?!?  TIE IT ON YOUR FACE??!!

YES.  I. DIED.  (And I wasn't laughing either.  I. was. mortified!)  My main concern was Ellie.  I did my best to stop that train wreck before it happened, and she heard something that I wasn't yet prepared to explain to her or wanted her to repeat to anyone anywhere else!  But before I could even get over myself and figure it out, Mason immediately lowered his voice and started whispering to Hannah Kate.  I couldn't hear a word he said, and I don't even know what she said back.  Needless to say, I promptly changed the subject!

I bet you'll never look at a cup the same way again!

You're welcome.

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