Sunday, November 15, 2015

Face Plant

Is it really November?  It is really half-way through November and almost December?  Yes, it is.  Thanksgiving is less than two weeks away.  I don't know how many more Fridays there are until Christmas, and I don't want to know so I'm not even going to count.  The Christmas decorations are already up at the mall.  Christmas tree lots are hanging lights and getting ready to open.  I don't remember what store I was in the other day, but Christmas carols were already playing.  In the blink of an eye, 2015 will be a memory, and 2016 will be here.

I sat down on November 1 and made my list.  You know the one.  My thought process went something like this.

November?  November!  It's November!  It's the best two months of the year!  YAH!  Oh, wait.

My Christmas tree.  Last year half the lights didn't work.  I was so irritated.  Did we even keep that tree?  OH NO!  If we didn't keep it, that means I DON'T HAVE A TREE.  Okay.  So what am I going to do?!  I mean, I'm not going to find a tree on sale this time of year.  I don't really want to buy another tree right now.  A real tree.  Yes!  A real tree.  We'll do a real tree this year!  We'll do a big, fat tree!  I never liked that skinny tree anyway.  Why in the world did I buy a skinny tree to begin with?  So, yes, a real, big, fat tree.  Lights.  Oh, wait.  I need lights!  I don't have any lights!  Great.  I'm going to need a lot of lights for a big, fat tree.  Okay.  It's okay.  And I think we'll put our special family ornaments on the downstairs tree this year.  Forget the stupid idea of a "perfect" tree.  I'd rather look at the special ornaments anyway.  So then this year we won't put a tree upstairs in the play room.  One less tree.  Yes!  That's a great idea!  I feel better now.  But I have to buy lights.

Hannah Kate's birthday.  It's almost Hannah Kate's birthday.  Great.  I haven't even thought about a party.  But wait.  I decided we wouldn't have a party.  We'll have a "special day" instead.  But will she be okay with that?  She likes parties.  I'll have to think about that later.

Shopping.  Christmas shopping!  I'm not done yet!  Wrapping paper.  I need wrapping paper.  What color do I want to do this year?  Wait.  Who cares?  Why does it matter?  Just buy wrapping paper.  But can I really "just buy" wrapping paper?  But nobody cares anyway.  They just rip the paper to get what's inside.  I can't think about wrapping paper right now.

Wreaths.  When am I going to get them all put up?  Maybe I should do it the weekend before Thanksgiving this year.  We might not be here for Thanksgiving.  So it would be okay to do it the weekend before.  And then it would be done, and I won't have to worry about it when we get back.  The tree though.  I can't do a real tree before we leave.  That'll have to wait until we get back.  But I could do everything else.  Yes, that's what I'll do.  Decorate before Christmas.  But you know what people say about that.  But this is an extra-ordinary circumstance.  I MAY NOT BE HERE THE WEEK OF THANKSGIVING AND WON'T HAVE TIME TO DECORATE UNTIL THE FIRST WEEKEND IN DECEMBER AND THAT'S TOO LATE!!!!!!!

Seth's birthday.  Yes.  Okay.  What am I going to get him this year?  Birthday.  It's going to be Seth's birthday.  And Hannah Kate's.

I need tree lights.  Wrapping paper.  What am I going to do for Hannah Kate's birthday party?

2016.  It's almost 2016.  I need to begin thinking about my New Year's resolutions.  Oh wait.  I haven't finished with 2015.  But the one thing on my list I really wanted to do this year . . . well, I didn't.  FAIL!  Forget stupid resolutions.  

Okay, so, I really want to enjoy the holidays this year.  I want to relax and rest.  Okay, so that won't happen.  But I don't want to be all stressed out about it.  I want to watch a lot of Christmas movies.  When does the Charlie Brown Christmas special come on anyway?  Christmas movies.  Hot chocolate.  I wish it would get cold enough for hot chocolate.  And fuzzy blankets.  Thanksgiving WILL be fun this year.  Christmas WILL be fun this year.  I won't stress out about presents and decorations and food and all the things that don't really matter all that much anyway.  But lights.  I need lights.  I just don't know how many to get.  I'll probably have to go to the store again.  Ribbon!  I forgot I need ribbon!

Hair cut.  I need a hair cut.  My highlights have grown out more than I like.  I have to call and make an appointment to get my hair cut.  And highlights.  I have to do that before Thanksgiving.

Poinsettias.  I have to get those eight trees up at church.  And go buy all the poinsettias.  I forgot about that.  So I definitely have to decorate my house before Thanksgiving so I can decorate at church the weekend after Thanksgiving.

And homeschool.  Ugh.  It's definitely not what I thought it would be.  Or what I wanted it to be.  I mean, why can't I be the mom who has her kids in violin lessons and makes jelly and preserves veggies from the farmer's market and visits historic sites every week?  Her homeschool is just so awesome, and MINE STINKS.  Why in the world did I think I could do this anyway?  WHOSE IDEA WAS THIS???

Facebook.  I HATE FACEBOOK.  And Pinterest.  There is nothing Facebook or Pinterest worthy about my life and my house and my clothes!  I think I need to take a break.  Yes.  That's it.  No more Facebook.  Comparison is the thief of joy anyway!  I don't need that.  

Christmas card!  I have to take the kids' picture for our Christmas card.  But I don't even have their Christmas outfits yet!  Maybe I just won't do cards this year.  Who am I kidding?!  I CAN'T NOT DO CHRISTMAS CARDS THIS YEAR!!!!!!!  

And it goes on and on and on and on.  You want to know how I really feel these days?!

A few weeks ago, I took my Sunday School class to Area 51.  They (my niece in particular) begged me to jump with them.  It looked easy enough, and I was pretty confident in my trampoline skills.  Or at least I was in my head.  But most things that are in my head don't necessarily translate well OUTSIDE my head.  And this would be one of those times.

This was the second time I did that silly trapeze swing.  The first time was pretty much the same as the second.  But I convinced myself that since I had already experienced it one time around, I could do much better the second time.  And not only that, but Abbie begged me to do it "one more time."  And so because in my mind I made a much prettier landing the second time around, I went for it.  But, of course, it was more of the same but maybe even a little worse!  I think I face planted even harder this time, and, y'all, I had the hardest time getting up!  I also left a perfect lipstick print on one of those yellow foam pieces.

My friend went with us, but she didn't jump.  She took pictures and videos of the girls the whole time.  And she was so sweet to video me.  IN SLOW MOTION.  So here you go.  Oh, and be sure you notice Abbie's reaction at the end of the video clip.  She's got some real love for her aunt right there!

And that sums up perfectly how I feel!  Just keeping it real.  Because maybe some of you feel the same way, too!  You're so not alone in that!  Either that, or I'm just a special kind of crazy!

Oh, and you'll be happy to know that all of my Christmas presents (except those for the kids) are purchased and waiting to be wrapped in the wrapping paper I bought this week. I don't have ribbon yet though.  And I totally plan to decorate my house for Christmas next week even though it won't be Thanksgiving yet.  And I have an appointment to get my hair fixed this week.  And Seth told me today what he wants for his birthday.  And I'm in the process of planning Hannah Kate's birthday "party."  I'm still undecided about Facebook though!

So fa la la la la!

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