As I'm sitting down to write this post, words fail me. I really don't know what to say. According to the public school tradition, I now have a high schooler, a middle schooler and an elementary schooler. According to classical Christian schooling, I have a rhetoric schooler and two grammar schoolers. Regardless, I can't even believe we're here. I mean, how did we?!
I have all the feels for this one, and I'm not sure I want to or can articulate it here right now. Because who would've thought?! There were many, many days I did not. I recently had to pull out my binder from back-in-the-days of 504 plans and speech therapy and notes and emails and lists and names. I also found a journal I'd kept during that time. On one day in particular I'd scrawled "bad day" across the whole page in big, angry letters. I can honestly say I don't remember the "bad" so much now. It seems like a lifetime ago. But I do remember thinking 9th grade and high school seemed like such an impossibility. And, now, here we are!
Mason has four years of school left. Four. I can't help but compare that to his first four years of life. There was tremendous growth and change. A baby completely dependent on his Momma for everything grew into a little boy who could talk and eat and run and play and potty and get himself dressed. Those four years just flew by so quickly! So if these next four are anything like the first . . . well, we'll be sending him off to college next week. He has learned things and done things these last few years that I wasn't sure he could do. I should've known better. I can already see, after only two days of school, that he's going to grow a bit more this year. He's gaining even more independence in his reading and writing. I have a feeling we're in for quite a ride. I used to dread the journey as it pertained to schooling. But now I'm a bit more optimistic, and I think I'll soon look back on these days and think it really wasn't so bad after all. I might even miss them.
I still remember my very first day of high school. I felt like I was going to drown in a pond I did not belong in because it was too big, and I was too small. But this kid? Well, I'm pretty sure he's got this! I've noticed a bit of a swagger in his steps these days. This picture is so full of God's grace and answered prayers and open doors. He has been so faithful to us every single step of the way, working in ways that I could not have imagined, providing a way when there seemed no logical path at all. And I know that no matter what comes our way this year (because I totally do not expect it to be easy), He will continue to do the same thing. For years I dreaded school with him. It was so hard, such a struggle. But now? I look forward to it! It's still hard. But it's a different kind of hard now, and I can't wait to watch him do his thing this year.
I am really excited about her classes this year. She is taking Latin. We had such a good conversation on the way home today. She was articulating something she didn't quite understand, and I was explaining to her that she doesn't have to understand it yet because it's going to be taught to her throughout the year. And then my fourth year Latin student begins to explain to her exactly what she didn't think she could understand! It gives me great joy to listen to Mason share his knowledge and understanding of Latin (and logic, too!) because he has mostly always been the one needing to be explained to. I remember the days when she had to help him read a word because he couldn't read or pronounce it. He has never, ever once resented that or been upset by that. But those days are long gone now.
I do think this year is really going to stretch Hannah Kate in ways she hasn't been before, and I'm excited to sit on the sidelines and just watch. She is so independent, and the Lord continues to use her to teach me how to allow my children their independence and even encourage that (because that's kind of not my nature).
When our school books arrived and I unpacked and sorted everything, she couldn't stand it. All of her new books sat on the dining room table for a few weeks, and she finally couldn't do it anymore. She came to me last week and said, "Well, I couldn't take it anymore. I started reading Charlotte's Web." So I just told her that was fine, but she would be re-reading Charlotte's Web once it is assigned. She also took great joy in packing up her supplies in her backpack. She lays her shoes and socks out every night at the foot of her bed. She hasn't had "homework" yet (keep in mind we're only on day two), and she told me today that she HOPES she will have homework tomorrow.
She also told me yesterday that when she saw her beloved 1st grade teacher, she told her about the alligator in our yard. Really?! Of all the things we did this summer, you told her about the alligator? I'm just shaking my head. I also had to make her wear the bow yesterday. Yes, I did. I'm not ready to give it up just yet. But I had to make her.
"For the LORD God is a sun and shield; the LORD will give grace and glory; no good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly." ~Psalm 84:11
No good thing. I can't wait to see what good things He has for us this year, and I continue to be grateful for this journey of schooling that did not at all turn out the way I imagined it would.